Like a lot of other citizens, I'm a bit frustrated that our leaders in Congress cannot seem to get anything accomplished at a time, unlike any other time in my life, when the country is so in need of progress and change. Those congressional seats have become more about selling influence, it seems, than doing what's right and expedient. One cannot help but wonder if we've poisoned our own pot with representatives who have just lost their focus. I am beginning to think that I could do this better myself.

These men get themselves elected, and then they seem to flounder when it comes to doing the job. They get distracted by women sometimes. Maybe it's hookers, maybe he has a lover stashed away in another country, maybe some hot babe wants to shoot a documentary about him and ends up having his baby. In any case, not only are these men not doing their jobs, but they are behaving so badly. Yesterday there was a news report that one representative from New York will be resigning in disgrace sometime within the next week or so. His distraction is also sexual, but he prefers men. The whole point is that we can no longer trust that the man you elect will really be there to represent you. Has anyone besides me noticed that the women in Congress are never involved in sex scandals?

Therefore, I am preparing myself to become a candidate. My platform will be BETTER HUSBANDS. Who wouldn't vote for that???

When I first heard that Susan Sarandon and her younger lover, Tim Robbins, had split up, I could hardly suppress the gloat that immediately came over me like a warm blanket. How long I've waited for my little bit of revenge!

Having had the benefit of reading my ex-husband's version of their sexual encounter in his autobiography, my first impulse was to contact his current wife and give her fair warning that the cat/woman is back on the street. But wait! Isn't my ex-husband way out of age range for the predator, Ms. Sarandon? He was young and cute when she brazenly seduced the man right under my nose. We were married, of course. She doesn't mind that at all. It was her pleasure to pick and choose the man of the moment, his marital status notwithstanding. Now she has a reputation to fulfill. The new man must be young.

When one reviews the list of her male co-stars over the years, it isn't difficult to make the assumption that every one of them had the experience of being the target of her seduction routine. I have seen the mistress at work. It begins with casual, but deliberate touching, which accompanies every conversation. Then, there's always a reason why she pops out of her dressing room in her underwear, as if she hadn't noticed that she isn't wearing her clothes. It's just part of the slow build-up to love scenes that require endless hours of rehearsal. Does she do any movies that don't have love scenes? How clever! It makes the rest of it all so easy.

As an audience, we've accepted the woman as a talented actress with a political conscience. I believe her moral compass is hopelessly skewed. As an actress...? That's for others to decide.

Now that the Tiger Woods scandal has cooled down a little bit, I've been able to take another look at the big picture, only to find that there were some very obvious signs that this mess was inevitable and none of us saw it coming.

Take for instance the absolute overkill of sexual innuendo in the game of golf itself. All these golfers ever talk about are holes and balls and shafts and strokes. They're all worked up and lathering by the time they get to the first tee. Even the people who sponsor the game say things like "Just do it!" (Nike) and "It's in you" (Gatorade). The sexual impulse is enforced and validated at every turn.

Then, when you take note of the man's name.....Tiger Woods, well, it's practically redundant all by itself. His destiny was claimed when his birth certificate was written. And frankly, who wouldn't want a boyfriend with the name of Tiger Woods. Maybe, in the end, it's his parents who are to blame.

It's hard not to write about Tiger Woods, although I'm a bit disappointed about what's happened to him and his wife. A lot of people think that this is about another man who is unable to be faithful. In my book, I express the opinion that men who are monogamous are as rare as hen's teeth. Further, there has been some research that man is biologically incapable of monogamy. The penguin has always been the symbol of animal fidelity, but even the penguin is monogamous only during the season of mating and birth. Next season, it's a different penguin.

Having been married to someone who was famous for a while when he was younger, I have an understanding about the role that celebrity plays when a husband begins to have a secret life. The way most of us judge a situation like Tiger's is to assess the value of the wife as the reason to justify, or not justify, his behavior. He loses that point in this case. She couldn't be more beautiful, has delivered two extraordinarily beautiful children to him and makes the appearance of a supportive devoted wife. And yet, one of the extra-marital affairs began 31 months ago, lasting almost the sum total of the marriage. The pictures I have seen of these willing paramours make them all of a similar type. All of them white, all of them blonde, all of them ambitious. Just take note of how willing they have been to expose his emails, phone messages, and their own photographs. These girls are all ready for their fifteen minutes. Did he really believe they wouldn't squeal on him and cash in on the badge of honor they get from their little circle of friends and fellow bottom feeders of the media?

To me, the culprit is really Tiger's celebrity. It's hard for some people to imagine how extremely seductive and heady fame really is. Here's Tiger, one of the most admired, successful athletes the world has known. In his chosen sport, he has rewritten the book. Shouldn't that be enough to keep him happy? How does the man avoid feeling omnipotent when he is a legend in his own time. How does the mortal man fill his own shoes? Not easily when his feet are made of clay.

There was a small cluster of popular music awards shows recently and I usually enjoy watching for numerous reasons. Mostly, I'm a music junkie. I also like to know who is out there and what they're about. Mercy! Is it my age that makes me feel a bit shocked, or just that, in general, people looking to bring attention to themselves have lost all sense of reality and decorum.

Beautiful women who are competent singers (Jennifer Lopez, for instance) have taken to performing in costumes that are so much like underwear. They strut around, thrusting their collective pelvis, dressing and undressing on stage, looking mean and angry, and chanting, more than singing, some of the most specific suggestive and sexual lyrics I've heard since Belle Barth was recording.

Everyone seems to want to be the Bad Girl. Except Taylor Swift. It can't be too difficult to see the difference between her presentation of herself and say, "Lady GaGa", who was nominated in the same category, Artist of The Year. If you haven't seen "Lady GaGa", I suggest it only for the opportunity to understand what has become accepted demeanor on television. She likes to create the illusion of nudity as a backdrop for her bumping and grinding, sometimes wearing elaborate masks, and delivering lyrics that can make your jaw drop (if you can understand them, of course).

Thank the musical gods, or Clive Davis, or whoever is in charge, that young girls are offered an alternative model for how to successfully communicate one's message without betraying her own sense of modesty and good taste. Taylor Swift is no less talented or ambitious than the best of them, but so far, doesn't seem willing to trade her self respect for her success. Nor does there appear to be any need for her to do so. She sold more records this year than ANYONE ELSE. She is lovely, sweet, alluring and endearing, humble and impressively talented. a star who stands alone, fully clothed.

I CANNOT RESTRAIN MYSELF WHEN IT COMES TO EXPRESSING MY OPINION ABOUT WHAT'S HAPPENING ON MY FAVORITE SHOW, DANCING WITH THE STARS.

TOM DELAY DROPPED OUT JUST AT THE MOMENT THAT I WAS ABOUT TO LAUNCH MY OWN PERSONAL CAMPAIGN TO REMOVE HIM NOT JUST FROM THE CAST OF THE SHOW, BUT FROM ALL FUTURE TELEVISION ENTERTAINMENT, POLITICAL AND OTHERWISE. I AM AMAZED, AT TIMES, THAT WHEN A SCOUNDREL LIKE TOM DELAY IS DEFAMED AND DISGRACED BY HIS OWN GREED AND MISDEEDS, HE DOESN'T GET THE POINT THAT THE PEOPLE, AND THE COUNTRY IN GENERAL, ARE DONE WITH HIM! DONE WITH HIM IN EVERY VERSION OF HIMSELF. WEARING A SILLY COSTUME AND TRYING TO BE CUTE AND ENDEARING BY SHAKING HIS CORRUPT ASS DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO SUGGEST TO ANY OF US THAT THERE'S A VERSION OF HIM THAT WE COULD FIND ACCEPTABLE. IN THE WORDS OF ANY FIVE-YEAR-OLD: GO AWAY!!

HERE I AM COMPLAINING AGAIN, BUT MELISSA JOAN HART, ALTHOUGH NICE ENOUGH, GOT TOP SCORES FROM THE JUDGES FOR WHAT I THOUGHT WAS AN EMBARRASSING DISPLAY OF INCOMPETENCE ON THE DANCE FLOOR. HER MOST OBVIOUS DANCE FAUX PAS WAS THE WIDE EXPANSE BETWEEN HER LEGS (OOPS!), AN EXPANSE WIDE ENOUGH, IT SEEMED TO ME, THAT A MINI COOPER COULD PASS THROUGH. NOT TO MENTION THAT SHE DOES NOT HAVE MUCH CONTROL OVER HER ARMS, HER TORSO LIMP AND WEAK, OFFERING HER PARTNER LITTLE OR NO FRAME. HER PRO CHOREOGRAPHED A CUTE CHARLESTON, BUT IN HER FLAT SHOES, ANOTHER MISTAKE, MELISSA OFFERED LITTLE OR NO APPEAL.

THE CAST, IN GENERAL, LEFT ME WANTING THE USUAL "HAS-BEEN" ELEMENT EVEN MORE THAN BEFORE. I GUESS I CAN CONFESS THAT I AM SECRETLY ROOTING FOR DONNY OSMOND, ALTHOUGH I BELIEVE THAT MAYA IS THE BEST DANCER, HER TREE STUMP LEGS NOTWITHSTANDING. I DO SO REGRET THAT MY FAVORITE SHOW IS LOSING ITS APPEAL, HAVING PARKED SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE GROUND OF KITSCH, FAILING TO BE TACKY ENOUGH EVEN FOR ME.

I WAS ASKED RECENTLY BY A DELIGHTFUL TADPOLE FRIEND IF A FIRST KISS AT 60 YEARS OLD IS ANY DIFFERENT FROM A FIRST KISS AT 16. THIS IS CERTAINLY A QUESTION THAT MERITS CONSIDERATION.

BUT FIRST, JOGGING THE MEMORY TO REFLECT THE FEELING OF BEING 16 WAS NOT THE EASIEST ACCOMPLISHMENT FOR A WOMAN WHO IS ON THE VERGE OF HER 67th YEAR.

WHO WAS I AT 16? A GIRL ADDICTED TO MUSIC. I'VE COME TO BELIEE THAT THE INFLUENCE OF SONG LYRICS IS GENERATIONAL. I DON'T MIND SAYING THAT TODAY'S POPULAR MUSIC IS A BIT DIFFICULT TO RELATE TO. IT'S "STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS" STYLE REMOVES A GREAT DEAL OF THE FANTASY AND ROMANCE FOR ME. OUR YOUNGER GENERATION, I'M AFRAID, HAS NEVER MASTERED THE ART OF THE METAPHOR. ALAS, THE SONGS DON'T CONTAIN PLACES FOR THE IMAGINATION TO RUN AMOK. IT'S ALL A BIT TOO SPECIFIC. WHAT IS LEFT TO WONDER WHEN THE SINGER CLAIMS "I WANNA GIT WIT CHOO" ???

SO, AT 16, THE ANTICIPATION OF THE FIRST KISS WAS HEIGHTENED CONSIDERABLY BY AN INNOCENT MUSICAL ROMANTIC NOTION. ARE WE TOO JADED AND CYNICAL IN OUR SIXTIES TO THINK THAT IT'S STILL POSSIBLE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH THE FIRST KISS? IT MIGHT HELP TO TURN THE RADIO OFF.